NOW feels good. I made the biggest appointment of my life (1/24/2018) Its almost as if it’s my rebirth date as I am slowly becoming who I have always meant to be.
My appointment is to explant my breast implants that I got about 16 years ago. Along with the implants, came adverse health effects such as intense shoulder/neck pain, limited range of motion, fatigue, brain fog, inflammation, gastrointestinal issues, food intolerances, numbness in arms/hands, auto immune. With all those issues, I did not GAIN confidence. I do not feel more beautiful, more feminine or sexy. I cannot stand them. Looking back, I don’t know if I ever really loved them. I have always felt that they were not ME and frankly, they are not because they are fake.
I’m 42 years old and I swear, if I could go back in time to meet 20 something self, this is how I’d envision it to go:
Id grab my face and look me straight into my eyes and say “Sister, WHAT ARE YOU F’KN THINKING!? You ARE beautiful. You exude a glorious beauty by being the EXACT way that God created you. Beauty will always glow from the inside, OUT. You KNOW that, you’ve always loved natural beauty so why change yourself with the illusion that you are not enough or that by enhancing what you already have will make you feel more feminine, more beautiful, more confident. Confidence comes from your inner power, your self worth, not self image.
Go on and continue smile, laugh, love on your family and pray. Read. Read more. Read & pray to your boys, indulge in personal development and strengthen your own beautiful power within. One day you will realize that YOU ARE ENOUGH. You don’t need breast implants aka ‘the girls’ to make you feel more beautiful. You already are. PS. One day you will realize this and have them removed.
Your 42 year old self.
But that’s life right? We live, we learn. We aren’t designed to just GO through life, we GROW through life and that is the BEAUTY of living & experiencing each moment. If I can take this experience and just use it to INSPIRE another that’s exactly what I was meant to do.
Personally, it really hits my core because, I want to be able to speak genuine truth to my 4 year daughter. When I explain to her that God created her to be just the way she is, I want her to believe it and pray with a grateful heart. When I tell her she’s beautiful, I want her to feel it from within and exude it outward for the world to see. When I teach her to be smart, I want her to have a fire in the belly desire to pass her knowledge & power to teach others.
She asks me this question EVERYDAY; “Mommy when I grow up to be just like you…..”
Baby girl, when you grow up to be just like me, I want you to BELIEVE what I’m telling you. When God breathed His life into you, he put a crown of glory & honor on your head. You ARE EXACTLY who you are supposed to be the way you are designed. Your perception of yourself will determine what kind of life you live, so lead it with grace, a grateful heart and sprinkle your spirit of love, laughter & kindness everywhere you go. THAT is your real beauty. Believe in in YOU. Fall in love with YOURSELF. You have everything that you need. If you ever need reassurance, PRAY.
Follow my journey,